Monday's training was one of those rare sessions that bring forth many different emotions. The clashing emotions gave me many new insights and crystallize certain insights which have previously been vague shadows. The training session itself was pretty ok, it started with some strengthening exercises followed by a time trial than somemore strengthening exercises..
The time trials was what trigger the multitude of emotions which assaulted me.. As it is before time trials, I will become very sullen and focus on the trial.. Soon the trial started and though i clocked a good timing ( which i did not knew about immediately after the trial ). I felt disappointed in myself as i felt that it wasn't my best performance.. The run din feel good, din feel fast. I felt like pounding the track la due to my inept performance.. Later on when the coach announced the time, i was very surprised to learn that the timing was pretty decent (24.9s ok pace but still far from my pb =[ ), taking into consideration the amount of training i had been doing. This kinda cheer me up as i was getting thereabouts and closer to my best again.
Later on the long bus ride home, I was pondering why did i felt the way i feel. I believe that this is probably due to it soon being my last year before i embark upon the rat race in the real world. There are many things that i want to do before i graduate and this represents my last chance. To leave this phase of life without regrets i think that is what i want to do. To perform to the best of my ability which i feel have never been fully realized. Be it in studies, sports or anything i do, i always felt that there is that one more thing which i should have done but did not do due to a lack of willpower, determination or plain laziness. I will be embarking upon the last leg of this journey and well, lets finish it with a bang!!!
Cheers~!
*** random thougths @
00:47